


FUBAR'd

by TedraKitty



Series: Adventures in Babysitting [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, BAMF Bruce Banner, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Clint Barton, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Steve Rogers, BAMF Tony Stark, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Disabled Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, De-aged AU, Deaf Clint Barton, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Eventual Relationships, Families of Choice, Found Family, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, M/M, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Mutual Pining, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Obadiah Stane is a Creepy Creeper, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Pining, Pining Bucky Barnes, Pining Steve Rogers, Pining Tony Stark, Platonic Cuddling, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Team, Red Room (Marvel), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Team Bonding, Team Feels, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Torture, Unhappy Ending, partially deaf steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22621111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TedraKitty/pseuds/TedraKitty
Summary: The Winter Soldier - "Asset", and James "Bucky" Barnes are on the run, from Hydra, from The Avengers...Mostly from that little blond punk that wants to "rescue" Bucky.An accidental run-in with magic leaves the Avengers team de-aged. Now what?
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Avengers Team, Clint Barton & Avengers Team, James "Bucky" Barnes & Avengers Team, Natasha Romanov & Avengers Team, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Series: Adventures in Babysitting [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665313
Comments: 30
Kudos: 124





	1. It's a Cold and It's a Broken.... Winter Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been an avid reader all my life. You could say I'm a BookWyrm 📚🐲. Once I found AO3, I'd all but stopped reading regular published books. There's a new book by an author I've been reading since middle school. I haven't gotten past the 1st three chapters - because AO3 reeled me in. I think I have been more occupied with fanfic than anything else lately. It's not for the familiar characters, because I do read OC fics too. I've realized it's because there's such an abundance of beautifully well written fics readily available. Plus there's a way to give and receive feedback, and see other fans' commentary. The inspired by's and the AO3 tagging system makes it easy to drift between one fic and another, without losing the flow or dislodging the fic hook lodged in our brains. They also inspire us to write and post our own adaptations. We're given immediate gratification when we comment, kudos, and write. It, in turn, garners immediate response from our readers with kudos and comments, and inspired by's - adding to the cycle. It sparks our imagination, nurtures our creativity, and gives us an outlet for our (justified) rage at society's refusal to give equal representation.
> 
> This is me, Paying It Forward. I was inspired by a prompt by [Bill_Longbow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/works), on the [Stuckony](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) Discord Server that took on a life of its own - and has mutated into something completely different weirdly enough.
> 
> I had an amazing amount of help from my family at home and the folks on the Discord Servers. I found amazing betas with [multiplefandomfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/multiplefandomfan/works), [Huntress79](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/works), [jay | toby starch deserves more](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwhpjsherlocked/works), and an awesome beta/cheereader with [Newtypeshadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newtypeshadow/works). [343EnderSpark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/343EnderSpark/works) was exceptionally helpful with the Operator Error issues that plagued my uploading. 
> 
> Spaceboundwitch, multiplefandomfan, Hddnone, RiseUpTingTingLikeGlitter, jay | toby starch deserves more, Huntress79, 13'Melia'Seuferer, Newtypeshadow, PinkGoldAngel, Shoshi, BillLongbow, Shi-Toyu, ANT-chan, Betheflame, AngstiestBurrito, Jacaranda, Ruquas, TehRoseRose, Judy The Dreamer, roe-sesandthornes, bluetones, JimmyJive, lokivsanubis, 343EnderSpark, were all instrumental in helping me. They suffered through my questions patiently.
> 
> And there's probably some I missed.
> 
> Y'all - please let me know if I did.

_________________________________________

The Asset was running again, lately he was always running. Slogging through the wet, slippery slush was not his idea of optimal mission parameters, but it was necessary. Hydra again. It was always Hydra, but this time it was the Avengers too. The Avengers hot on his tail with the big blond, "Stevie". Steve Rogers, Captain America - his Mission - and that damn voice in his head, Bucky, nagging him to _"just sit still dammit Stevie wouldn't hurt'cha!"_ No safe space to turn to, not that he deserved one. Not since he fished the damn blond out of the Potomac after almost killing him. The damn idiot almost let him! No matter that they used the words, or that he still fought it each time they gave the orders.

The taser was a very effective tool for inciting cooperation and obedience once the Chair was not a feasible option. They began to apply it on the sensitive join of his shoulder where it met the metal, at the crease of his thighs, among other even more sensitive places. He stopped fighting after they - _"STOP. Stop. Please. I don't want to relive it. Again. Please. Let's think of something else. What about our training? How long was I able to stay in control last time?"_ Bucky pleaded with Asset. He didn't want them to remember the horrors that Hydra inflicted on him while Asset shoved Bucky's consciousness down, covered with his own to protect Bucky's; allowing atrocities Asset was determined to protect him from. Bucky dredged up the latest memory of his last training session and shoved it at Asset.

"We're getting better at this Asset," Bucky said through chattering teeth.

They'd spent the last three days browsing through different stores, walking from one side of town to the other, " _reconnaissance, is very important_ ," said Asset.

"I just wanted some plums. Why did we have to go to ten different stores?" Bucky was not whining. He hates snow. He hates sleet. He hates this god-awful mess of half frozen sludge they were trudging through. He was tired. He was hungry.

" _You need the practice, besides, I like the plums from here,_ " Asset felt he was being very reasonable.

"Then why -?!"

" _I told you, you need the practice_ ," Asset was very sure the image Bucky pushed at him was physically impossible.

Asset thought back to when they first started communicating. The first time he heard Bucky, he had been terrified. He thought his handlers had finally found a way to hear his thoughts, and he would be punished for them. Especially when he couldn't help but think what dumbasses they were for sending Westfahl on anything more than a coffee run. Longer periods of time between wipes always brought Bucky to the surface, and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, his handlers always seemed to know when he was 'malfunctioning'. At first, he was relieved when they ordered him into the Chair. Hydra's frequent wipes had kept Bucky's consciousness suppressed for the most part, though the intense pain from the Chair's use wasn't a good trade-off. Eventually, a little at a time, Bucky was able to convince him that he wasn't Hydra, and that they were a team. They worked hard at concealing their duality then.

Sometimes it was a few hours before they noticed and wiped him. Sometimes they could pretend well enough that a couple days went by. Once, it was two weeks before they figured it out, prompting a particularly vicious beating, a session with Pierce - and a wipe, followed with a prolonged cryo session - but it was worth it for the conversations about growing up with Stevie, falling in love, and pulling him out of all the fights he got in. Asset admired the sheer stubbornness that made Steve Rogers such a formidable foe. Although there wasn't a repeat of those two weeks, they got better at hiding their duality.

Bucky had been much more active since ditching Hydra and breaking his programming. Bucky's concentration was getting better the longer they were away from Hydra, but frequent, intense bouts of controlling their body exhausted him, especially in frigid temperatures. Thus, they began their training. They treated it like any other exercise; adding more and more time to each period of control. They had to build up their stamina, they never knew when they'd need Bucky to take over for an extended period. Flinching slightly as shrapnel from a ricocheting bullet hit a little too close, Asset was yanked from his spiraling thoughts. Arguing with Bucky would keep him focused on the task at hand.

"Stop nagging me! I don't want to be a prisoner again."

_"We wouldn't be a prisoner! Stevie just wants to protect us. He doesn't want Hydra to hurt us again. You hated the Chair and the 'training' just as much as I did. Give Steve a chance!"_

"He does not even know about me, he will lock me away."

_"I won't let him, or anyone do that to us. We're a team, remember?"_

Crossing rooftops and leaping over alleyways, Asset gambled on Bucky being right, on Bucky's "Stevie" wanting him out of Hydra's hands more than he wanted Bucky to 'sit still' so he could 'rescue' Bucky. Asset nearly slid into a wall at one point, after losing his footing briefly on a hidden patch of ice. He didn't even know about Asset. Still. He trusted Bucky. _"He'll love you. Just you wait. He'll be mother-henning you before you can say 'fuck Hydra'. He only does that to people he loves. That's what made me realize he loved me, way back then. I wish I hadn't wasted so many years wanting him and too terrified of losing his friendship to try talking with him about it. By the time I realized it was even possible, I was about to be shipped out. Of course, war torn Europe is no place to confess an illegal crush. Especially when you're in the Army. Don't worry. I won't let that happen to you. I know you love him, you can't hide it from me, I'm in your head. I won't let you down."_ Asset was so confused. He was nothing. Just Hydra's broken weapon. He couldn't fall in love - and no one would love him.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it couldn't happen, he had fallen in love with Steve anyway. Maybe this body had always been meant to fall in love with him. He fell for Bucky's little punk, but also for the man he became. They watched every news channel, and read any report, and scanned any newspaper he got his hands on for any mention of the Avengers. He couldn't help but admire the other Avengers as well. They were elegant in their lethality, he'd also seen them gently extract survivors. He was horrified at how close he came to killing Steve, and was terrified that coming in, allowing himself to be close to Steve, was putting not only Steve in danger, but Bucky too. Without the constant pain of the wipes, Bucky was stronger. Asset worried he wasn't strong enough yet to throw off the drag of the control words if Hydra captures him again. He wasn't sure either of them were, at least not alone. _They were stronger together._

They remembered more the longer they went between wipes, but the memories were disjointed, and in some cases, utter bullshit. They would never have known. The memories seemed so real. Then Hydra fell. Widow dumped all their secrets online. He was able to find some Winter Soldier files online, but not all of them. Reading through the reports, they were surprised to find several referring to "fixing" their memory. That's how he knew it was tampered with. One partially recovered report was succinct in its clarity, what there was of it, **"have authorization to use any steps - tech, magic; whatever you deem necessary - to replicate and enhance the memory rewrite process. Fix the malfunctions. There is no excuse. Also, get rid of Sgt. Roberts. There should be no trace of this mistake anywhere. Find that - "** the rest of the report was gone. There was no mention of it anywhere - not on any server they could gain access to. They took every hard drive, and any files from every Hydra facility they could find and mailed them to Stark before they blew it to hell and back. He was supposed to be a genius, he'd figure it out. He knew there were more. He was brainwashed; not stupid.

Forcing his attention back to the current Hydra assholes, Asset and Bucky got to work. They circled back towards one of Pierce's off the books safehouses. Slowly, a vague plan formed between them. They would lead the STRIKE team away from the Avengers. Maybe then they'd hole up in the safehouses. It was uncomfortable staying in Hydra safehouses, especially Pierce's, but it was better than getting caught out in the open and in the snow. Usually they stayed in a different one every night. They would stay just long enough to maybe contact Steve and make arrangements to turn themselves in. They blew into their hands and rubbed them together to warm them. It would work. It had to. Asset trusted Bucky. He'd earned that trust. They were a team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm all for Asset and Bucky working as a team. Now maybe they can come in out of the cold, and be warmed with the light of friendship...
> 
> We'll see.


	2. Do You Know What I Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 rude awakening for Hydra  
> \+ 1 surprise knockout  
> \------------------------------------  
> 5 de-aged AvengerKids
> 
> Who even taught magic how to math?

_"Well this was FUBAR'd from the git-go wasn't it?"_

The Asset was in complete agreement with Bucky. The plan was a good one, but no plan would have stood up to the clusterfuck that went down. Hydra was prepared for the Soldier. They might have been halfway prepared for Steve's interference. They could've anticipated a back-up Avenger or two. They were woefully out of depth with Captain America, nearly all the Avengers - including the Hulk, a pissed off Winter Soldier, and one scared-out-of-his-mind magic user caught between them.

Whatever the reason the "wizard" had for coming outside today, it wasn't worth it. The hapless fool had walked out of the shop and right into Hydra's hands. Asset could see the rest of the shop's patrons abandoning them to their fate; scattering, running out the back door. Strike must've recognized them. With a few sharp words and a gun to the head, they "agreed" to fight alongside STRIKE.

The Avengers fought like a well oiled machine, despite the snowdrifts the STRIKE team was floundering in. There were no flaws in their technique for Hydra to exploit. No gaps to slip through. Asset was more than happy to add to Hydra's confusion by sniping any unlucky Hydra sumbitch that crossed his scope. He should've already ghosted this shitshow. Bucky, that damn nag, was adamant in his refusal to leave without _"making sure Steve isn't doing something stupid again"_. They knew just how reckless Steve could be with his own safety. They read Rumlow's report detailing Steve's jump from the Quinjet - without a parachute. Bucky remembered Steve being a _"stubborn little punk"_. They were worried Steve's recklessness would be even worse with "his Bucky" nearly within reach, and Hydra in his way. Hydra was in for a rude awakening if they thought learning about The Winter Soldier's previous identity would make Steve "I-will-fight-the-world" Rogers soft, distracted, or easily taken. Maybe they were just looking to get rid of another screw-up.

The leader of the Hydra Strike team was an incompetent ass that seemed happy to bark orders and knock the poor wizard around. Wizard was half-heartedly throwing discs of light at wherever the Corporal pointed. No matter that they seemed to always miss. _"Looks like Wizard isn't Hydra's biggest fan either,"_ Bucky was happy to point out. Of course, every miss earned Wizard a slap, or in one case, a punch, as Hawkeye landed an arrow too close for comfort. It was only two minutes in; never let it be said the Avengers wasted time when eliminating Hydra. Asset took every advantage to eliminate or drive the Strike team further away from the Avengers. He was seconds away from leaving the Avengers to mop up the remaining handful of Hydra. Then everything went tits up.

The last few light discs were significantly dimmer than the others. With a few well placed slaps, Corporal Dumbass lost his advantage. Wizard, fed up and panicking, saw the perfect opportunity to shake them loose. Hulk shoved the overfilled dumpster into a group of Hydra agents, forcing them to regroup several yards away. Wizard shot the weird magic at both Hydra and the Avengers, then rabbited, knocking Dumbass into a puddle of filthy sludge in the process. Unfortunately, that last shot struck true. What remained of the Hydra team staggered around in dazed loops. Steve's shield caught the brunt of the wayward missile, but the light shattered on impact. Apparently, vibranium and magic don't mix well. The resulting backlash knocked everyone out cold.

**

When Asset came to, he scrambled to his feet. It was too late. Whether Wizard had meant to or not, the Avengers were out of commission. _"Stevie!"_ shouted Bucky, as Asset started seriously mowing down any Hydra scum stupid enough come close to laying hands on the group of terrified toddlers in ragged Avengers uniforms.

After disposing of the remaining Hydra with a few well placed shots, they abandoned their snipers nest to gather the quietly sobbing kids. Steve was holding Tony; face buried in his hair. Natasha, Clint, and Bruce held each other, huddled against Steve and Tony.

"Do you know me?" Bucky asked, crouching in front of them. They nodded carefully, rubbing their chilled, wet faces on their dirty uniform sleeves. Bucky used the tail of his shirt to help clean their faces a little better, though they were still cold, dirty and wet. "Do you want to get warm, clean up, and get something to eat? I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you, or take you away. I only want to help. I know you're scared. Let's get you fixed up. Then we can talk about what's going on, and how we can get some help without Hydra getting their hands on you, okay?"

With the toddlers' tentative agreement, they ushered the kids into the now empty shop. They proceeded to outfit the little ones in better fitting clothes. Aware that there were probably GPS trackers in all of their uniforms, Asset packed them into a backpack from one of the shelves. He stowed the loose weapons in another large pack. They clipped on the slightly too big custom harness, then slung the shield into place on their back. At Bucky's insistence Asset grabbed clothes that were a few sizes too big, plus belts for the pants, winter wear for each kid, and a few extras for each child in bigger sizes - also with 'room to grow' - just in case.

One trip to the bathroom later, and the group was already looking much better. With clean clothes, clean faces, and a few cheap groceries purloined from the shelves, they were all in a happier mood too. Asset gave them some snacks, after noticing they were all staring at the snacks hungrily. Bucky's extensive knowledge of Steve's allergies came in handy. So did his babysitting skills. A mix of cajoling, bribery, and what Steve used to call his "no bullshit" voice kept even Steve trailing after Bucky like a line of ducklings. Stevie, as Bucky remembered well, was a stubborn little shit at any age. He kept insisting "I can do it by myself," and was more than happy to try. Tiny Tony, who was a perplexing mix of overprotectiveness and insecurity, followed after Stevie like a kitten with a string.

Asset left several hundred dollars in crumpled bills tucked under the register; enough to cover plus more, _"to keep from drawing too much notice not because of your nagging, dammit Bucky!"_ and the group left the shop happily munching on their various treats. Fortunately, there was a safehouse only one street over. The streets were deserted. People either ran or hid when there was gunfire. It made things easier when it came time to get out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that they've got all their ducks in a row, things'll go great..... Right?


	3. Nothing's going right... And everything's a mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One one hand, the kids are safe. Clint may never have a good relationship with ketchup ever again - but we all make sacrifices.

While Bucky charmed the kids, Asset took stock of the situation. One thing they had noticed fairly quickly is Wizard's spell seemed to be wearing off gradually. Within a few hours, at most a couple of days, there would be a team of Avengers at work once again. Already the kids looked and acted a little older. They weren't into the teenage years yet, so neither Asset nor Bucky were much worried about hormones overcoming their good sense.

Asset and Bucky both noticed looks the kids each shot each other when they felt the other wasn't looking. It was made clear to them that the kids may not be teens, with its raging libidos, but there were obviously feelings that they may have suppressed as adults. They wondered if the feelings were romantic, or if they all were a little touch-starved. Looking at Tony consideringly, they felt perhaps a little of both - especially with how much he was cuddling up to everyone, even Bucky and Winter. Either way, those feelings were definitely not suppressed now, as children. _"I am happy they were not taken by Hydra; so many malfunctions. They would be punished severely. I do not want them to be wiped for crying. They should be allowed to cry."_ Asset said privately to Bucky, pushing forward the memory of the toddler's earlier tears.

_"They aren't going to have the same control of their emotions as they did as adults, Asset. Even if they weren't kids. Look at how quickly they shift between standing and talking like an adult or handler would, to flopping down onto the nearest chair. They may not be toddlers anymore, but they are not adults yet. They went from talking about drinking whiskey at a party, to sharing juice with their "bestest friend ever!" Bucky pointed out. His imitation of a young child was disconcerting. "Let's just hope they don't have as many temper tantrums as my sisters did when they were younger."_

Bucky showed Asset a faded, fragmented memory of his youngest sister throwing herself down onto something and wailing, screeching, while Bucky looked on, horrified. Asset could not tell what was said, but the child's sheer volume, and Bucky's feeling of helplessness came through.

"Was she wiped for her actions?" Asset asked carefully.

"No. Ma was a good'un. She made Becca stay inside doing chores the whole day, and I don't remember why it was she was hollerin', but Ma didn't hold with beating a kid for being a kid." Bucky reassured Asset.

The kids were happy to chat with each other - seemingly unaware of Bucky and Asset's internal conversation. They made the kids sandwiches, and unloaded the various types of snacks. They grabbed the first bag, luckily it was the granola bars and chips; everyone agreed on those. They set out baby carrots and cheese sticks for Tony. There were both apples and oranges because Steve liked oranges, but Natasha liked apples. Clint wanted the candy bars, but was happy to share. There were even quite a few pastries and snack cakes; grabbed when Bruce expressed an interest in a couple, but couldn't choose between them. He remembered how often his sisters came home ravenous, and how Steve was always hungry at any age. He wasn't sure just how much of that was due to the economy at the time, and how much was because they were still growing up and needed the extra food. 

Bucky joined the conversation, tossing in what memories he could. Asset listened with rapt attention. They were never permitted to do so many of the things the kids - and Bucky - spoke of so casually. Clint in particular seemed to have several stories that entranced Asset. "Why would you make pancakes with peppermint?” Asset asked curiously. Clint launched into an admittedly hilarious retelling of his attempts to show off his cooking skills for his brother.

Tony was laughing so hard he fell off the chair, prompting Asset to hurry over and set him gently back onto it. "You know, this punk here was always trying to burn down the tenement," Bucky pushed to the front, setting a second helping of sandwiches and baby carrots between Steve and the young Widow. "Hey! I wasn't trying to burn the place down! I was trying to be nice, _ya jerk_!" Steve protested, laughing at Natasha's pretend shocked look. "Look, don't let him fool ya! My cooking wasn't even half that bad."

"Ma had to ban you from the kitchen unless she was there to supervise. Then she only let you cut the vegetables until you almost took off your finger. Then she wouldn't even let'ya in at all!" This time, Clint's howl of laughter was followed by a soft splat as Steve used the pump on the large ketchup bottle Asset had liberated from a nearby restaurant to shoot a stream of ketchup across the table, dousing Clint from head to waist in ketchup. 

A shocked silence fell. The trail of ketchup went from Clint's hair, down his face, soaking his shirt, dribbling into his lap. The thinning stream followed a straight line to where Steve held the ketchup bottle in his hands, braced on the table for better aim. He stared at Clint, with his mouth hanging open. Suddenly, it was like the whole world took a breath. Chaos descended. The kids started laughing so hard not only did Tony fall out of his chair (again), but so did every other Avenger kid. They ushered Clint into the tiny bathroom, after assuring themselves there was no window for a sniper, or scrawny agent of Hydra to use.

Clint claimed he could clean up without help, "geez dude! I can get it! I'm fine," but called for help when he found the ketchup had migrated to his underclothes, and weirdly enough, between the toes of his left foot. Bucky handed off a complete set of clothes in an appropriate size to Clint when he stuck his hand out of the bathroom. Asset and Bucky traded off getting the kids settled into the living area while they tried cleaning up the ketchup that was insidiously spreading its stickiness into every crevice of the table, the chairs, and the floor. There were even some spots on the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the things mentioned in this fic have happened in my family - like the ketchup incident and peppermint pancakes... looking at you Mom.
> 
> May they live on in infamy.


	4. Found Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where we earn our Mature rating, though not for anything sexualized. Please mind the tags [most of them are due to movie and comic canon compliance].
> 
> ->->->->->->->->->->->->->->
> 
> A secret revealed,  
> Family found.  
> A fact forgotten;  
> Forcibly reminded.

"There are two of you" Widow stated once they were all seated comfortably in the living room.

"There are." Bucky agreed impassively, shoving to the front. "You can tell the difference, Widow?" 

"Call me Tasha. Of course. I'm not an idiot, just a kid. You smile differently, you're left handed, but the other guy uses both hands equally, you sound different - you've got a Brooklyn accent, he's got a Russian one - even how you stand is different." 

_"Smart. I wonder how much of their adult memories they retained."_

"How much do you remember Tasha?”

"I remember in bits and pieces. Like a puzzle with missing parts. Sometimes I can remember being an adult, but it's hard to not be a kid. Like there's a push all the time to be a kid, but at the same time there's a pull to be an adult, and I'm caught in the middle. It's harder to hold onto the adult memories. Some things I just know without really remembering. Some memories come easier than others. They're all wrapped up in feelings that are so strong! It's like I'm right there! There's so much. Scared. Happy. Angry. Safe. That's how I knew we could come with you. You felt safe. I know I'm not supposed to be a kid. I don't remember everything, but I know something is wrong. Like when they were going to shoot us; I couldn't stop crying even though I know I'm too big to cry like that. That's why I said call me Tasha. I'm not really Widow right now, and I'm not really Natasha or Nat either."

Tony, Bruce, Clint and Steve all gathered around Tasha and hugged her fiercely. "You can always cry whenever you want, darlin'. No matter how old or young you are,'' stated Bucky. "They're your friends. All of us, Asset and I too. We won't make fun of you, or punish you for crying - What?" Bucky stopped abruptly at the shocked looks all of the kids gave them. "What? Is it because I said we were your friends too? I know we're fu - uhm - messed up, and we've done too many horrible things to be forgiven, but will you at least let us try to be friends? We just want to protect you kids. You can't do this alone." 

"NO!" they shouted. Bucky looked away. He tried to gently set Tony on the couch and stand, but it was like trying to detach a particularly stubborn piece of Velcro. It seemed that Tony had suddenly become a decidedly clingy octopus. "Don't be mad. We didn't say we didn't want to be your friend." Confused, they looked at Steve, "what? I. We. You don't want to -"

"That's not it!" Steve said gently. "You said a bad word! You said A-S-S!" Solemn nods followed the statement.

"That's what Hydra called me" said Asset, pushing to the front sharply.

 _"Thanks a lot pal."_ Bucky drawled sarcastically. Asset pushed images of the sign for sorry back at him. Sign Language had come in handy when they wanted to communicate without Hydra seeing Asset talk to himself - or at all. Punishments were harsh with "malfunctions" so obvious. 

Bucky knew some German and French - enough to get by with the ladies or secure a prisoner, and some Gaelic - thanks to Steve and his mom, but that didn't exactly help ease communication. Asset knew Russian mostly, though some of handlers would yell at him in German. He knew enough of that to get out of their way, follow some simple commands, and to say 'yes sir'. English was something they both knew. Their Sign Language was a bastardized mix of hand gestures (usually vulgar), and the American Sign Language they'd been taught after a high ranking officer went deaf in a mission that went sideways. It helped that they could push images at each other. Meme culture was helpful as well. Though it wasn't like handlers were going out of their way to explain what rickrolling was, or share funny cat videos. Usually they talked over or around the Asset - like he was furniture; leaning across him to show each other their newest gif or meme. To them, he was a weapon, and you don't talk to your weapon. So Bucky and Asset developed their own take on the memes and gifs they glimpsed. Not that Asset's handlers knew that. You use weapons. You maintain its functionality, fix it when it breaks, and when the weapon ceases to be useful - like Asset - you destroy it. 

"Well that doesn't mean you have to keep that name! They were just being mean!" Clint yelled nasally. Asset handed him a paper napkin from the dispenser on the coffee table for him to clear his nose. He blew it noisily, then banked it off Tony's head to drop it neatly into the trashcan across the room. Tony's amused glare was met with a smirk. Tony threw an empty snack wrapper at him that fell short. Clint smirked back at him when Tony stuck out his tongue. "They sometimes called me Winter Soldier or even just Soldier, if they were talking about me. I'm just a weapon to them. A broken one now. That's why they called me Asset." 

"Winter!" "Bad word!" "Soldier isn't a name." "That's rude! They didn't give you a name!" "You aren't a toy or a weapon, you're a person!" They all talked over each other again, coming to his defense. Unexpectedly, tears pricked his eyes. That wasn't something he expected. He was a weapon. You used weapons, you didn't defend their honor. Weapons didn't have any. 

"Hey!" He startled slightly, as he had sort of zoned out listening to the kids argue in his defense. The idea was so amazing, he was having trouble processing it. 

"Yes?” 

"You aren't a weapon." Bruce said kindly, "you shouldn't call yourself that." 

"I - I didn't realize I said it out loud?" Asset grimaced.

_"Looks like we picked up a bad habit, talking to ourselves while we were running._ We need to be more careful."

"Hey, no, it's ok. Remember? You're our friends, and we'll protect you the same as you do us. We're a team." Steve said.

"Well? What's your name then?" Tony said impatiently. "I like Winter! It sounds cool." They all groaned. Asset - Winter - chuckled. 

_"You're gonna keep it, aren't you?"_ Bucky sighed.

"Yep." Bucky pushed the image of a splat of snow landing on Winter's head to the front. It was a favorite memory of Bucky's. Winter was out on reconnaissance watching some bland Senator - a soon to be dead Senator - when the tree above them gave in to gravity and dropped an entire branch's worth of snow on their head. Winter, who was in control at the time, watched - horrified - as the snow turned him from 'terrifying assassin' to 'wet cat' in an instant. Winter chuckled again, and pushed the image of him sticking out his tongue in the bathroom mirror back at Bucky. 

"Winter will be fine. Maybe it'll help remind me I'm - we're - not a weapon." He said, eyeing Bruce carefully. "Does anyone else have any different names they want to be called? Or anything else we should know?" 

"Well, you can call me Awesome!" Tony smirked impishly.

"Tony! We're not calling you Awesome! What if there's something really awesome? You won't know what I'm talking about! You'll think I'm calling you!” Clint said. Tony stuck his tongue out at Clint, then blushed, and yanked it back in when Tasha grabbed the tip playfully. 

_"That was cute, but arguing is going to get old quick"_ Winter pushed the image of the thumbs up emoji at Bucky. They loved emojis and gifs. It made conversations between them so much easier.

"Look. Kids. What about Anthony for now, Tony when he's ready for it, okay? Then maybe Stark or Ironman, when he's an adult? Hawkeye. What's your full name? Bruce, you too. We'll go with Stevie, then Steve, then Rogers for our little blond spitfire here." Steve shoved him lightly; then shrugged.

"I'm not getting called Francis! No way! Why do we even need to change our names? You know who I am! Even if I am a kid," Clint said worriedly.

Winter shrugged despondently, "little one - kid - we all know what happens when people, especially kids, are forced to do things that are more than they are ready for. It sucks. It makes you feel anxious, and angry; upset, even when you do not know why. I do _not_ want to do that. I want - we want - for you kids to be happy. We are not going to let you hurt yourself or anyone else, but this is something we can give you that will not cost us anything! We just want to let you have a choice. We did not get that. It was one of the many things we fought in our training; the one we were punished the most severely for."

"How 'bout you can call me Clinton right now, then Clint, then Barton or Hawkeye?" He pulled Winter into a fierce hug. He blushed furiously when Anthony looked at him curiously. Changing the subject, Anthony shot Clinton a look, mouthing the name "Francis?" when Clinton shook his head, Anthony shrugged carelessly and nodded.

"I don't mind Brucie. I kind of liked it when Tony called me that." Brucie squawked as Anthony practically leapt across the space between them to hug him. Brucie blushed bright red and hid his face in Anthony's neck. 

_"That works for me."_ Bucky whispered to Winter, and was quick to push the memory of his sisters driving their Ma crazy, arguing for hours.

"That works for us. Then we'll have Bruce for when you're older, and Banner - or would you rather Doctor?" Winter shot a curious look at Brucie. "I don't really care either way," Brucie shrugged diffidently, "most of the time no one even wants anything to do with me unless it's time to smash something. Everyone is too afraid. Well, except Tony. Tony isn't afraid of me. Doctor or Banner would be fine."

"Hey!" Stevie was the first to protest, followed nearly simultaneously by each of the other Avenger kids. Clinton's "awh, Brucie, no!" was oddly choked and mournful. "We aren't afraid of you! We're respecting boundaries!" Stevie exclaimed indignantly. Tasha very carefully wrapped her arms around Brucie and hugged him gently, "you're my friend. I don't have many. The people on this team mean so much to me as an adult. Even as a kid I'd do anything for you all. I am careful around you because I don't trust myself, not because I'm afraid of you. I stopped being afraid of you and Hulk when he saved Tony from dying; the day of the invasion." Tasha's look of seriousness made any chance of doubt dissolve. Brucie relaxed with a relieved sigh.

"The day of the invasion proved to us all that Hulk is just as much our friend as you are. I never doubted you two for a second Brucie-bear!" Anthony said ebulliently. "There's no reason to be afraid of you, or of you Tasha." Stevie cut in, "we were all strangers then. I know for a fact everyone else feels the same. If we had been afraid of either of you there wouldn't have been any team game nights. You know how competitive Natasha is. Didn't we have to ban Monopoly or something?" Tasha cuddled into Brucie's side and sighed contentedly. "Besides," Clinton said slyly, it's hard to be afraid of someone you've seen covered in that much glitter." Brucie looked disgruntled, then fond; dozens of emotions chased across his face too fast to read. Clinton, Anthony, and Stevie each cuddled up to Brucie without dislodging Tasha from his protective embrace. Eventually, they all disentangled and sat in varying ways in both the living and dining areas. Clinton, of course, picking a higher perch, settled beside Tasha on the arm of the couch. 

Winter cleared their throat to get everyone's attention, "Now that we have cleared that up, we can go with either Doctor Banner or whatever mix you would like at the time - for when you are an adult. We know Stevie has allergies - thanks to Bucky - and asthma, a heart condition, scoliosis, anemia, and is partially deaf in his left ear. We know Hawkeye - sorry, Clinton - is deaf, thanks to Hydra's dossiers on the Avengers, but is there anything we need to know?" Bucky slid forward, "It looks like everyone aged backwards, and the serum didn't come with you, Stevie. The future has at least one thing going for it that I know you'll like Stevie. They don't just prescribe liver for your anemia anymore. We can pick up some iron pills. That still means you're back to being our Brooklyn punk." Stevie glared at Bucky, and crossed his arms. 

"Not suffering through your absolutely horrible liver dinners doesn't get you out of calling me a 'Brooklyn punk', _ya jerk!"_ Stevie stuck out his tongue at Bucky to show there were no hard feelings. He was looking forward to skipping out on the nasty taste of Bucky's hideous liver dinners.

"Hey! I actually learned a new recipe for liver in Germany that I think you'll like. The liver wasn't even dry! It didn't leave that weird, slimy aftertaste either," Bucky protested.

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it," Stevie goaded Bucky, then looked disgruntled when he realized he'd basically agreed to eating liver voluntarily. Bucky looked smug. Stevie wanted to throw something at him to wipe the look of his face. Blinking in shock, then smiling deviously, Stevie looked around for something wet and squishy to throw. He knew Bucky would act like an offended cat when Stevie whapped him in the face, or better yet - the neck with it. 

_"Look at him."_ Winter whispered, nudging Bucky to get his attention. _"You know he is up to something."_

"Oh, I know. I want him to think he's gotten away with it. Then I'll pounce. He'll never know what hit him." Bucky pushed the image of a cackling old woman dressed in a black cloak at the Winter. "Snow White was one of my favorite movies from before the war, you'll love it. Or you'll hate it," Bucky said consideringly, tilting their head to the side as he tried to picture it; hoping to remember as much of the storyline as possible. 

Suddenly there was a slimy something oozing under the neck of their shirt. "Oh! Yeeuck!" Bucky shouted as Stevie ran, shrieking with laughter into the bedroom. Bucky was off like a shot chasing him. As Bucky skidded around the corner, he caught a glimpse of bright red hair through the gap in the doorframe. He was sure Stevie took full advantage of their distraction to put his tactical genius to good use. He didn't survive being a punk in Brooklyn for nothin'. Anthony, Brucie, Tasha, and Clinton must be already there in the bedroom waiting for him. It was too late to stop, and retreat was never an option. Thinking quickly, he thrust Winter to the front. Winter half-heartedly continued the pursuit, bewildered at the abrupt change; until he was suddenly pelted with what seemed to be several dozen eggs. He dodged about half, mainly those thrown too wide, but was rapidly drenched in slimy, wet, raw eggs. "What? Bucky? Kids? What?" He swiped ineffectually at the goop now coating his hair and clothes and was heartily glad of the waterproofing on his left arm. At the guilty looks on the kids' faces, he knew he'd have no trouble extracting a promise to stay in the safehouse and within earshot while they took a quick shower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> background:  
> The liver thing in this scene is a real thing my family dealt with. Not the anemia, but the recipe. My grandparents kept making liver for dinner [no idea why]. GrandMom's liver recipe was apparently disgusting for my Mom, who had to eat it all or be faced with eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until it was gone. After GrandMom got to Germany, she learned a new recipe that Mom loved. From then on, liver was classified as "before Germany" and "after Germany" liver. I feel so bad for poor Stevie!
> 
> *No eggs were harmed in the writing of this fic*


	5. Sleepovers and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are spilled,  
> Kids at play.  
> What will happen  
> come the new day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a time for fun and a time to sleep. Will the dangers they face let them stay in this new place?

Winter used about half a bottle of their herbal scrub to get any lingering egg residue off their body and hair. He hoped that if he stayed under the spray long enough the kids would start on clearing up some of the eggy puddles strewn across the bedroom floor. And across the walls. And on the bed. And - he was going to get a headache thinking about trying to clean that up. Those extra bedrooms would come in handy. 

"Good thing we move to another safehouse in the morning, right Bucky?" When he got no response, he poked at Bucky. He had been oddly subdued since the egg incident started. "Bucky. Why are you refusing to talk?" "Are you upset with me?" Bucky asked quietly. Winter was surprised. "No, should I be?" he asked Bucky. "I yanked you up there like a human shield. I didn't ask, and I didn't let you know what was going on. That was pretty rude of me," Bucky said softly. "I am not upset. Though I am sure cleaning up the eggs is something that is outside of my operational guidelines." Bucky chuckled, "don't you give me that operational guidelines crap, feed it to someone else that don't know your bullshit yet. You functioned 'outside operational guidelines' all the damn time." Winter huffed a laugh. "But now you are in a better mood. Mission accomplished." Winter said smugly. "Besides, I want to protect you, that is why I'm here." "I don't really need protection from the kids," Bucky tried to joke. "You _know_ what I mean," Winter was dead serious, but allowed the subject to drop. They stepped out of the shower, quickly drying off and getting into their spare tac pants and a loose t-shirt. The rest of their gear and clothes would need to be cleaned carefully.

Bundling the two piles carefully under their arm, they made short work of collecting and starting the load of dirty laundry that had been piled neatly by the machine. Resolutely ignoring the eggy mess still visible, they closed the door to the bedroom with a quiet snap. When they left the laundry area the quiet gasp from Anthony made them snap their head up. Anthony did not seem to be in any distress. Winter quickly surveilled the room looking for any lurking dangers. He then turned his attention to the kids. He looked over the other kids who were idly playing a bastardized mashup of poker and some sort of game that involved slapping. No problems there. He concentrated again on Anthony, who was staring in Winter's direction but did not look to be focusing on any one thing. He watched Anthony consideringly for a moment. "Anthony?" asked Winter. "Are you hurt moy kotenok? Is there something wrong?" There was no answer from the little genius. "Don't worry about Anthony," Tasha said casually. "He's only now been able to really see that arm of yours, and it's melting his brain just a little." Winter shook his head, shocked at the idea that anyone could like the painful albatross attached to his shoulder. 

**

"Clinton, I don't know when you got the hearing aids, Hydra missed it, but should we be worrying about them?" Bucky asked. "Are they working? No issues? Do they hurt?" Winter pushed forward to check Clinton over worriedly, peering into his empty ears.

"They're implants, you can't see them. I think they're supposed to grow with me, and no, they don't hurt. It wasn't until you said something that I even thought about it. Isn't that strange?" Clinton said. "I barely ever feel them at all." At the slight shake of Clinton's head, Anthony signed quickly, "Are you sure? I can help!" 

Bucky, Winter, and the kids all took notice. Winter asked "you sign?” This broke the hold on the kids' shocked silence. The cacophony was so scrambled and loud, Brucie and Clinton slapped their hands over their ears at the same time. Seeing this, Tasha stopped her questions. She reached over and placed a gentle hand across Anthony's mouth - leaving room to breathe and not following when he blushed and moved back slightly. He reached over and goosed Stevie who jumped, blushed, and snapped his mouth closed with a hilarious squeak. 

"Okay moye plevok-" he barely had the words out of his mouth before they were back to yelling over each other again. 

"Wait wait wait.” Bucky nudged Winter aside. He raised his voice while using the left hand to tap Anthony's lips, and his right hand to do the same to Stevie. They both shut their mouths with simultaneous blushes. Winter raised an eyebrow, but stayed quiet, allowing Bucky to take the lead here. Winter could see Anthony mouthing the new words over and over again, trying to make sense of them. He also was confused by the speculative - almost covetous - looks Anthony gave the metal arm.

Tasha was leaning carefully against Brucie, one arm around his waist hugging him softly, and petting Clinton's hair; their hands still clapped over their ears. "Look, we can't keep talking over and yelling at each other. Nothing will get done. We can't hear it all - it's like listening to one long, jumbled sentence smushed together, while your head is used to ring a bell. We'll miss something. Maybe something really important. Besides, look how bad it upsets Brucie and Clinton. We're barely any better." Brucie and Clinton lowered their hands, but didn't move to stop the affectionate hugging and petting Tasha was giving them. 

"Yes. I learned sign so I could talk to Jarvis and Ana without Dad throwing a hissy fit. We studied it together when Dad passed out after he broke my arm the first time. The doctors knew better than to say anything more than 'try not to fall off your bike again'. I didn't even _have_ a bike." Stevie looked furious, as did the rest of the Avenger kids. Both Bucky and Winter wondered whether it would be possible to find Clinton and Anthony's parents and fix their 'malfunctions', permanently. They wondered how many were even still alive. 

"I'm not always great with a bunch of yelling, my Dad was always yelling, and drinking, and hurting me and my brother. That's why we're running away to the circus. I guess Barney must have stayed at home to distract Dad?" Clinton said, frowning.

"Mine too" said Anthony. "He's always being mean to me; yelling and hurting me. He's always drinking. Maria doesn't care. Jarvis and Ana try to help, but sometimes they can't. Obie always looks at me weird, but he doesn't help. Jarvis and Ana try to make sure I'm never alone with him - or Dad, but that one's harder to do. Besides - he sides with Dad anyway. It's always my fault. Obie tells me to 'fix it', but I don't want to just let him take everything that's _me_ and _mine_ and make it _his_." Anthony wiped his wet face on his sleeve. "I didn't know you had a brother? I guess I wasn't a good enough friend so you didn't tell me. Did he tell you three?" Winter pushed to the front. They hugged Anthony gently, and said "it is not your fault moy kotenok." At Anthony's outraged expression, he dragged Bucky to the front with a cheeky grin at Anthony's mock glare. They were pleased he was able to help lighten Anthony's mood, even a little. Bucky shrugged. He tried (and failed) to look innocent. The kids grinned when Anthony shoved at them gently.

"I'm not sure I do anymore. Barney isn't here. He wasn't with me when I was an adult either. I think he left. He was supposed to be there for me." Clinton cried much like Tasha did, habits formed from years of punishments when crying wasn't allowed. Winter rubbed Clinton's neck and shoulder gently, hoping to soothe his young friend. "We will help you figure it out moya ptichka." 

"My Dad beat Mom to death in front of me. They took him to jail before he could kill me too. Sometimes it doesn't matter if they try to help, they just get hurt too" Brucie said simply; interrupting any questions, then rubbing Anthony's leg when he paled. "He was a mean drunk. He only cared about his experiments. He must think I'm a pincushion with how many needles he pinned me with every day. Whatever it was he wanted with all my blood, it didn't happen. I'm not sure if Hulk is what he was after, or I was just lucky and Hulk saved my life." Brucie sighed.

"Yes, I know sign language too, since one of his rotten experiments made me lose my hearing for a whole month. I was scared I'd never hear again. Mom taught me so she could keep talking to me without having to shout since it made Dad lose his temper even faster. Dad hated it, so we had to hide it. He wanted me to learn to read lips and pretend there wasn't anything wrong." Tears trailed down his cheeks, but he made no move to wipe them away. He didn't even seem to notice them. Winter rubbed his thumbs over Brucie's cheeks, drying his tears. "We're here for you moya mysh'ka. We will not abandon you. Any of you." 

Bucky pushed to the front. "We're all on the same team here" he reminded them gently.

"We are?" Clinton looked up at Bucky through wet lashes. "I want that. I mean I know we work together, and if that's what you mean, that's fine," he said flatly. "But for me, a team, it's like a family; only you get to pick who's on it. It's a promise you make. A promise that they won't ever leave you alone to face everything by yourself." 

"I want that too" Brucie said quietly. Anthony and Stevie were eagerly nodding before Brucie even finished his sentence. "We all do" said Stevie with a quick look at where Tasha had quietly wiped her face and was staring at the other kids. "Right Tasha?" 

"Yes. I don't want to be left alone again. I want to have a family I can pick. Mine gave me away. They didn't want me. They gave me too Madame. I was supposed to learn ballet! I'm going to be a dancer! We train all the time. We train when we are sick. We train when we are tired. We train when our feet are bloody. We train with broken bones. She says food is a privilege; so is sleep. We sleep handcuffed to the bed. They say it's for our protection, but they're lying!" Tasha's red face was edging to purple, her hands twisting in her lap. Clinton leaned over and covered one, stilling them. "They just don't want us running away. Half the time we don't know what we're training for! Why do I need to know all these languages? Why do I need to fight? Why should I have to learn to shoot a gun? When will I need to shoot someone at the ballet? Madame lies to us. They all lie! All the time!" Tasha's angry voice had risen to a near shout. Anthony stood to hand her a cup of water, which she sipped at gratefully.

"Let's make a rule" Brucie said quietly. He sat on the other side of Tasha, bumping his shoulder against her, then slipping his hand in hers when she signed 'sorry' to him. Tasha leaned against Brucie, accepting the comfort. Stevie settled on the floor with his back against the couch using Brucie's legs as a backrest. Brucie laid a comforting hand on his head, ruffling his hair. Clinton sat cross legged next to him so he could lean against her legs and tilt his face back to look up at her. Anthony looked at them all sadly, standing by himself next to the arm of the couch. Since Anthony was standing right next to Bucky where he sat on the left side of the couch, grabbing Anthony and perching him on their lap facing Tasha was easy. Careful not to grip Anthony's ribs too tight, he then settled his mismatched hands on his small shoulders. Bucky said "Now we can all see each other and we don't have to yell. What kind of rules were you thinking of Brucie?” 

"Who's making the rules? Can we change them? What happens if we break one?" Clinton asked hesitantly.

"Well, how about all of us make the rules? Stevie taught me rules sometimes need to change. Right punk?" Bucky asked affectionately. "Also Clinton, we need to remember everyone makes mistakes, there won't be punishment like with Hydra, or beatings. No broken bones. We take responsibility for our mistakes and apologize. Then it's over. That's what my Ma always said. She said 'I know it's hard to forgive someone that makes a mistake that hurts you. You need to decide if you care more about your hurt feelings, or how you felt about that person. At least the way you felt before your feelings got hurt.' You see, Becca had done something - I don't remember - that hurt me, but Ma said she didn't mean it. Becca apologized, but I didn't want to believe her. Ma said it was only Becca's job to apologize, not her job to accept it. That was my job. I was angry at Becca. I remember Ma telling me it was hard to forgive someone, but not forgiving them didn't just hurt them, it hurt me too. Not forgiving Becca would eat me from the inside out because I love her, no matter how upset I was at her."

"We don't lie, not to each other. If we're on the same team; if we're family, then we don't lie to each other." Brucie said adamantly. "I mean, I know it's hard, especially when we're back to being grownups, but we need to try. Everything is always worse when you lie." Everyone agreed. Tasha hugged Brucie tightly, and whispered her thanks. 

They all talked about their favorite food, what memories they could, and were making fast friends well into the night. After awhile, the subject turned to families and the issues they were worried about most. Everyone noticed as Anthony grew more and more anxious. "Jarvis and Ana will be so worried. I don't know where they are! My head is so mixed up" he moaned, clutching his temples.

"It's okay Anthony! It's like a sleepover!" Clinton's enthusiasm was forced, but it helpfully distracted Anthony from his panic.

"Really? I've never had a real sleepover!" Anthony exclaimed. "Maria won't let me. She says only babies have sleepovers. Dad says the same thing he always says, 'Stark men are made of Iron, boy!' He keeps saying that. I do not think it means what he thinks it means." Anthony shook his head sharply, like he was discouraging a pesky fly, frowning briefly. "You won't think I'm a baby, will you?"

"You call your Mom 'Maria', but your father 'Dad'?" Brucie asked Anthony curiously. 

"Yes, she says she's too young to be called 'Mom', and 'I'm too old to be acting like a baby anymore'. Last time, I slipped up and called her Mom at a party. I was so upset, I just didn't think. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Anthony dropped his head onto his clenched fists again and again with every exclamation, until Stevie gently stopped him, cuddling him against his side. "Why were you upset?" Stevie said softly. He rubbed at the red marks left by Anthony's rough treatment.

"Obie was trying to get me in trouble," Anthony said dejectedly. "He kept trying to trick me into hiding in the library with him. Maria told Dad I called her 'Mom' in front of all her friends. She said I embarrassed her. I had a black eye and couldn't see for two days! It was worth it. Obie knows I love reading in the library! I don't understand why he would want to get me in trouble! He _knows_ I'm not allowed to leave parties. It was my birthday party, even though it was all of Maria and Dad's friends, I would've gotten in so much trouble. Dad said he'd break my hands next time I disobeyed and snuck out." Tony was sobbing by the time he finished explaining. Tasha cuddled up against Anthony's other side, petting his hair gently.

"I remember JARVIS. JARVIS is awesome. He remembers to get my favorite Chinese place. Who's Ana?" Clinton asked with forced excitement, "Is she like JARVIS? Or DUM-E?" He hated that his friend was crying. He wasn't sure what to do, so he tried to distract Tony. "Butterfingers always plays with me. I love it when he plays fetch with me." Stevie joined Clinton in his attempts to distract Anthony. "I love spending time in the lab with you and the 'bots!" From the looks Stevie had been sneaking at Anthony, the looks Anthony was sneaking at Stevie, and the way they gravitated towards each other, Bucky was willing to bet that they cared for each other far more than just as friends. _"Bet you first go at the plums they haven't said anything yet,"_ Bucky whispered privately to Winter while the kids worked at distracting Anthony from his misery. 

_"I am not taking that bet!"_ Winter's hushed response was rich with laughter. _"I know a sucker's bet when I hear one. When Rumlow bet Rollins that Westfahl could not possibly make things any worse in that rat trap in Ohio, I did not need to be told, even then, that Rumlow would be bottoming for the week. It took every bit of training I had to not laugh when he waddled by me."_

**

Bucky and Winter took turns making sure there was no shortage of food and water set out so that the kids wouldn't go without. Talking about their parents and families was a one-way ticket to tears, but Bucky was more than willing to give out hugs to help soothe them. Winter happily pushed to the front to get his share as well. Hydra wasn't one for hugs. They could not remember the last time they had been given anything more than pain. 

Clinton worried about his drunken father's penchant for wielding a belt, or anything else he could lay hands on, when he was deep in his bottle of Jack. "What if Barney can't get away from him in time? I know he's faster than the old man, but he has to sleep sometime! Last time, Barney snuck back in after Dad passed out. Dad woke him up flipping the mattress over on top of him. Dad yelled at Barney to 'get off the floor and clean this mess up ya lazy bastard'. Clinton's impression of a drunken slur was so eerily accurate Stevie shivered, remembering his own father's voice raised in anger. Stevie tried to shake it off, listening again when Clinton continued. "When he wasn't off the floor and cleaning up the mess quick enough for him… well, let's just say it wasn't the first time Barney took a trip to the hospital, and it probably won't be the last," Clinton said bitterly.

Stevie carefully squeezed Clint's shoulder, "you're not alone. My father was a drunken bastard to the day he died. Ma was always trying to make sure he didn't kill me off when he got it in his head he needed to show me 'how to be a real man'. It was worse when he couldn't get a job, or got fired - again. I know it was hard to get a job. There are so many places that won't hire an Irishman. I wish I could've helped. Bucky, I know you and your family helped me and Ma all the time, but I just - it was all my fault! I couldn't _do anything._ I was -." Anthony squeezed into the space between Bucky's knee and Stevie's side, hugging Stevie fiercely. "It was _not your fault!_ Not any of you! And not mine either." Anthony said determinedly. He stayed pressed tight against Stevie's silently shaking shoulders, trying to comfort his sobbing friend. 

Tasha worried about the friend she made in the Red Room. "I know Madame says food is a privilege, but she was so hungry! I snuck some bread out to give her. I was so careful. It wasn't even that much. I hope we aren't caught. I don't remember exactly, but I know that getting caught sneaking food makes something really bad happen. I don't even remember it, but I'm scared. She and I have to share the bed. At least we are both smaller. Yelana is taller and so is her bedmate. The handcuffs dig into their wrists so much it bleeds." Winter was torn. How could they help? _"What can we do?"_ He whispered to Bucky.

"We can't change what has happened to them before, but we will protect them Winter, and make sure no one will hurt them anymore," Bucky promised.

_"If they were not with us they would be punished for the secrets they spill. They should be allowed to talk, they should not have to keep those secrets. Even_ _we_ _could report mishandling. We could not get away from their punishments, but we had something. They had nothing."_ Winter was unsure of proper protocol concerning children. Memories of assignments to the Red Room were patchy and unreliable. _"I want to protect these children, though I am not entirely sure why."_

"There are no orders to hurt them, Winter. Those were always the orders we got punished for. We did what we were forced to, but we always fought. Always. Even before you heard me, you fought" Bucky reminded him gently.

_"We will keep them safe. They are ours now." Winter_ replied, a surge of fierce protectiveness welling up inside them, clenching around their heart.

Winter whispered "They can hurt you no more moy паук". They could tell by the tension that drained from her that it settled something in their little spider to hear that. "What did you say? What's pah-ook?" "What kind of language is that?" "That's not Gaelic." "It's not Italian either!" "That kinda sounds like something one of the other carnies would say." "Is it a nice word or a bad word?" "You shouldn't say bad words; bad words are mean!" Anthony, Clinton, Brucie, and Stevie all spoke at once, talking over each other. Tasha stayed quiet, getting her crying under control slowly. Winter rubbed her back in gentle circles and sat on the couch next to her.

"We may not have been able to pick the screwed up family we were born into, but we're dang sure picking it now. There's no way I'm letting any of you go. I want to make another rule. No secrets" Anthony said, "I hate not knowing. Even if it's going to hurt, even if it's mean, it's worse than anything when I don't know. Dad won't tell me anything. He hides things from me and from Maria. They yell all the time about it. He keeps things secret that are about me! He takes credit for things I make and hides it from me. When I find out and get mad because he lied! He gets mad at me like I'm the one that's lying and keeping secrets." Anthony was yelling and crying by the end of his tirade. He was just so tired of trying to keep everything a secret. He knew Dad would hurt him - again - if he found out, but Bucky, and Winter, and everyone really, made him feel so safe; like Dad and Maria - or even Obie - couldn't hurt him anymore. 

Anthony was slouched against Winter, so he felt them flinch when they realized secrets were something they may never _not_ be able to keep. "What?" Anthony said tiredly, the emotional upheaval, fighting between adult and child memories - and feelings - was exhausting. 

"I. _We_." Bucky and Winter both tried to push to the front at the same time; scrambling to explain the trap they'd fallen into. 

"Just spit it out." Clinton was not in the mood for more crying. His eyes were itchy from crying earlier. He was tired, and hungry too. He grabbed a granola bar from the pile set on the coffee table, passing two to Anthony, then tossing the rest of their little team a couple apiece. "Everyone makes mistakes. We're a team. Family. We've already picked you. And you picked us. Just tell us what's going on. We're getting smarter by the minute" Clinton said as he opened his snack. _"That answers the lingering question of whether they were aware of the spell's weakening,"_ Bucky said.

Pushing aside the worry about the spell and its effects, Winter said "I'm broken. Messed up in our head."

Bucky shoved Winter aside. "The way everyone is feeling right now with their memory? How it's not all right there and sometimes something new will show up but it's not always in the right order? That's how my memories are. Mine are clearer, but they aren't all there either." 

"Neither one of us have a full set of marbles here, kids." Winter said impatiently. "And what makes this worse is Hydra does not know there are two of us. They just think we were malfunctioning" he said with a wry twist of his lips. "They will stick us in the freezer after they zap our brain until we forget again. We can not ever let them find out. They will find a way to lock Bucky away where I can't get to him. He promised we would be in this together - a team. He said he will not let them - anyone - lock me away! I can _not_ let anyone lock him away. I will not do that. Some of this stuff may not even be a real memory for me. I am not sure about Bucky's, but I know Hydra played around with my head enough that I cannot always trust what I think is real, or that I think I remember. All they have to do is say a few words and I am back to being their damn puppet! If you see anyone yelling or talking to me and Bucky and it makes us stop listening to you - run. Don't stop. Don't help. Don't blink. Don't even blink. Just run. Hide. I will not be able to stop. They will make me hurt you. It won't even be me anymore. They will take even that from us. I do not want to hurt anyone. I never wanted to hurt anyone." The tears spilled now. They couldn't help it. Thinking of losing this new family, their team, was so overwhelmingly horrifying it was like a punch to the gut. It knocked the wind out of them. They were unsure when it started, but gradually became aware of the warmth of the kids hugging them. Stevie and Anthony were on their left, squished between the back of the couch, and Clinton, who had taken over the other half of his lap. Tasha and Brucie were cuddled in close on his right; Tasha perched delicately on Brucie's lap. While they were dealing with their breakdown, imagining how they'd lose the family they'd found only to lose it again, they'd automatically held the kids against them without consciously thinking about it. 

Slowly, their sobs began to taper off. They became aware of soothing words and gentle hands. "Sorry. You shouldn't have to -" 

"Hush. Stop that. We're together in this. They will not erase you, or take you again. We will not allow it." Tasha. Fierce little Tasha. They believed her. "It's okay. We're glad you believe me." They flushed at being caught, again, talking to themselves. Exhausted at the emotional whiplash, they slumped against the back of the couch.

Bucky pushed forward cautiously. "We didn't mean to -" he started, only to have Brucie place a gentle hand across his mouth. "Look. I know we're kids right now, but we are also adults. We may not have all of our memories, but we were never just innocent children. We have our own traumas. I was - am - a big green rage monster. We know how it feels to not be able to trust ourselves to not hurt someone." Brucie smiled sweetly at Anthony to show there were no hard feelings at the moniker. "Until I met Tony I was always afraid. That much I do remember. I could never stay in one place for long. He gave me a home and made it a safe place for me to turn to."

"He gave me a home too" Stevie said. Clinton and Tasha nodded and Anthony blushed. "It was nothing."

"That's enough, kotenok" Tasha said quietly. "You gave me a home even when you thought I couldn't be trusted. I worked hard to earn your trust back - I hope I did -" at Anthony's hesitant nod she continued "and no matter what happened you didn't let anything happen to me. You think I didn't know then - I know it _now_ , and I've only got part of my memories! You think I didn't realize you helped me when Hydra fell? Your shark lawyers did not play around!" 

"Shield - Hydra - whatever. They were going to lock me up. 'For my own protection' they said. You dropped everything to help me - I don't remember it all, only that I was safe, and it was because of you." Anthony grumbled half-heartedly, flushing at the praise. 

"I was lost without Bucky. Everything was too loud, too busy, too bright - just; just too much. They kept asking for 'one more test' like I hadn't already given them so much of my blood I was dizzy with it. I know they still had Howard's notes. SHIELD did - or Hydra; whoever. You destroyed all the samples; all the notes. I can't even remember if I said thank you. Thank you. Anthony, Clinton, Tasha, Brucie - you all kept me sane. Well, the adult you's did, and now you're all doing it again. I don't know what I would've done without you all." 

"We're doing it together." Brucie murmured. They all nodded, and gave a last, small, squeezing group hug. 

"Though, after all this, you all _will_ need to teach me that signing stuff you do because right now I'm the only one that doesn't know it!" Stevie tried to give his patented Captain America is Disappointed in You™ look, but it looked pretty ridiculous on his too young face.

"I think the point our spitfire and little mouse are making, is -"

"Mouse? Really?" Tasha and Clinton giggled helplessly. Anthony looked delighted.

"Mmm-i-aah moosh-ka, mmiaah peach-ka, mi-yo plea-vohke, mm-ohy cut-yo-nu-ck, m-oh-y pah-ook" Anthony said carefully. "What do they mean?"

"They're Russian nicknames. They're for the ones you care about. Anthony - moy kotenok - my kitten, Stevie - moy plevok - my spitfire, Tasha - moy паук - my spider, Clinton - moya ptichka - my birdie, Brucie - moya mysh'ka - my mouse."

Brucie chuckled fondly, shaking his head in resignation. Stevie looked shocked, then amused. He nudged Brucie, glanced at Clinton and Tasha who were still struggling to get their giggling under control. They straightened up at his look, nodded once, then looked at Anthony. Suddenly, all five kids turned to look at Winter. "Oh no." He booked it out of the room with all five kids chasing him laughing hysterically. They ended their chase in the living room. There were several overturned dining chairs, a big dent in the wall where they hadn't cornered quickly enough, a broken coffee table listing to one side on three legs, and one exhausted supersoldier flopped on the couch, buried in five kids. "Well. Naps are going to be a big part of my future, I can see it now" Brucie gave a jaw cracking yawn that was immediately followed by five more. "Awh nap, no." Bucky chuckled and poked Clinton in the ribs gently. Clinton giggled then, slapped his hand away and squirmed closer to Brucie, mortified. "Ticklish?" Bucky raised one eyebrow in curiosity. "No! Absolutely not ticklish in the least!" Too late Clinton tried to get away.

**

Bucky and Winter, seeing how quickly Clinton could eel out of different holds the kids attempted, and that he was not above some dastardly, and ticklish, moves of his own, decided retreat _was_ actually the better part of valor, at least in this confrontation. They settled down to watch from a seemingly safe vantage point. 

They were able to see the disaster about to happen. They were still too far away to do anything about it. Their shout was lost under the shouting, screaming, laughing, madhouse scramble that used to be the living room. Stevie was, as usual, laboring under the delusion he was invincible. Bucky was well aware of this delusion. That was the reason he picked this particular vantage point. He knew that Stevie would overextend himself. He always did. He had the heart of a lion, and the reckless attitude of a kamikaze magpie, but he had the delicate constitution of a ditzy butterfly. He wasn't surprised at all when Stevie began to wheeze. He was even less surprised when Stevie refused to sit and calm down. What did surprise him was when after an accidental kick to his upper thigh, his "oh, I'll be alright in a minute!" was completely ignored. Bucky was sure he'd have to go ask Stevie to go sit this one out 'til he calmed down enough to breathe. He was sure he'd have to basically sit on Stevie to get it done. That did not happen. Tasha, backed by Anthony, Clinton, and Brucie, as one, turned to him and said, "sit!" in a near synchronized command. That was amazing in and of itself. The surprise came when he did it. Immediately. _"Without a doubt, Stevie has picked the best possible family,"_ Bucky whispered emphatically to Winter. _"They will protect him when we cannot. Hydra will not get to him."_ Winter whispered, trying to reassure Bucky. They shivered at the ice cold wash of fear creeping down his spine.

**

The next morning they were gone, and everything was FUBAR'd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I am trying to incorporate more positivity in my life, I will simply say thank you all for allowing me to entertain you for awhile.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] FUBAR'd](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276362) by [Juulna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juulna/pseuds/Juulna), [Podfics by Juuls (Juulna)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juulna/pseuds/Podfics%20by%20Juuls), [TedraKitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TedraKitty/pseuds/TedraKitty)




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